This makes finals week look like a hayride.

13 Dec

Here’s a link for my stressed-out students, rushing to finish projects right now: Clients from Hell. I know sometimes you think your professors are a little demanding. But at least we’re not crazy!

Not yet, at least.

My favorite bits from the site, which is as funny as it is depressing (please pardon the inconsistent line spacing. WordPress is not playing nice with that right now):

CLIENT: “Why is the text slanty?”

ME: “It is in italics.”

CLIENT: “No, it is slanty.”

ME: “It’s called italics.”

CLIENT: “I don’t care what you call it, make it stop.”

——-

CLIENT: “This layout looks absolutely amazing; I completely love it! However, my husband is from Germany and so he has a natural born sense of design (I’m from the South, so I have to trust what he thinks) and he doesn’t like it at all. He’ll be calling you shortly with his revisions.”

——-

CLIENT:“Photography is not art goddamnet! It’s just a Xerox of what just happened.”

——-

“I work on an in-house design team and our boss consistently walks past our monitors and peeks at what we are doing. On occasion, there will be something on screen that bothers her. One day she walked by and asked, ‘Are you really putting pink stripes on that?’ The pink stripes were my grid guides.”

——-

CLIENT:“When we said “sexy” we really meant “slick.” Can you make those changes?”

——-

CLIENT: “This isn’t what I was looking for.”

ME: ”No problem, this is all part of the process. Can you explain what you don’t like?”

CLIENT: “I’d rather shove you down the stairs for wasting my time.”

——-

ME: “Unfortunately some of the images you sent over can’t be used as they are the wrong file type.”

CLIENT: “Oh, okay. Which files?”

ME: “The animated GIFs.”

CLIENT: “So why can’t they be used for the brochure?”

——-

CLIENT: “The concrete in the images has to be pale grey not light grey. Please change it immediately.”

——-

CLIENT: ”A hundred dollars?! For a hundred dollars, I would expect a hundred logos!”

——-

CLIENT: “Can the word ‘apparel’ have an accent so that it looks more French?”

ME: “The French word doesn’t have an accent.”

——-

CLIENT:It’s not eye catching enough.. I tried to show it to my dog, and she wanted nothing to do with it. How are we going to sell our products if dogs aren’t even interested?”

——-

CLIENT:“Let’s put a border around it.. and can the border throb a little? I need it to throb.”

——-

CLIENT:“I need you to keep the colors, fonts and layout the same. Please just make make it sparkle.”
——-
CLIENT: ”So they say that art is a passion. Do you really think that it’s right to charge someone for something you’re passionate about?”
——-
CLIENT:“One pixel is still too big. Please make it smaller. ASAP.”
——-
 

CLIENT:“The logo ideas you made were horrible. Where have you ever seen logos that cleverly merge graphics with words?”


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One Response to “This makes finals week look like a hayride.”

  1. Lucy December 13, 2010 at 9:44 pm #

    too funny!

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